Developing self-esteem can be overwhelming for many of us. I know that, because I have experienced that throughout my life. I was born in Hungary, Europe during the communism and now I am living in the United States. Quite different, I guess.
I had to learn English, accommodate to the different environment, people and culture. I had to trust myself,, I had to have self confidence and a healthy level of self-esteem to survive. It was not easy.
Any change you make in your life means that you have to move out of your “comfort zone”. Sometimes you have to step on unexplored terrains to reach your goals, which could be challenging.
You will find some tips for developing self-esteem in the following paragraphs and some ideas about how people can boost their self confidence.
Please, remember one thing. I do not propagate perfection here. Perfection - in my opinion - does not exist. There is always a way to be better, stronger, to develop yourself and to learn constantly. What I support here is excellence. The quality of life, the quality of whatever you do every day and the willingness to alter your thinking to improve your life and the ones who you are interacting with.
There is no way that you can change everything at once. But, with systematic, focused effort you can start this incredible journey of moving toward your goals right at this moment. We have all felt that we did not have control over certain situations in our life (especially over nature, the weather etc.) or we were not optimistic or successful in every decisions we have made, but our approach, our feelings toward the act or event that’s what really matters.
- READ BOOKS. Put a book in your car. You might have to wait at the doctor’s office, car dealerships or at any other appointment you have made. I remember when I had to wait for 90 minutes at the car dealership couple days ago when I had my CD player changed in my car. I was a little tense at the end, but not because I had to wait for that long - even if I had an appointment -, but because I could not finish reading my book. I almost told the guy: - Hey , Dude next time I hope it will take at least 2-3 hours so I can finish my last 20-30 pages.I did not even notice how fast time went by because I was so busy reading. I think it is a much better way to deal with the situation than start arguing with them.
-LISTEN TO TAPES OR CDS in your car. I don’t know exactly how much time average Americans spend in their car yearly, but I am sure at least 3-400 hours or more. What a useful time to listen to tapes or CDs! You can listen to tapes about personal growths, developing self-esteem, raising your self confidence. There are books on tapes as well. You can get them for FREE from the Libraries. You can listen to classics, biographies and all kinds of different subjects you are interested in. Being a member of the Library? …. Yes, it’s free too. Use this free tool as often as possible.
Developing self-esteem is hard work. But you can make it a fun adventure by utilizing the resources that are available for you. Let’s see how you can recognize when you have healthy self-esteem. Think about what area(s) in your life need some attention.
People with self-esteem:
• ENJOY LIFE. If you understand and practice this, you don’t even have to read any further. Just keep it doing. This is the most important part of our well-being. This is the factor what people are willing to forget about. Very simple yet very powerful. So be it. Live your life.
• JUST DO IT. They are always in action. They do it whether they like it or not, because they know that action takes you to the next level. Whenever you accomplish something that gives you the feeling of satisfaction that is what raises the level of your self-esteem.
• Have OPTIMISM, which gives the fuel to the engine to start working. Positive thinking is one of the most important factors for developing self-esteem, to begin to change your life for goods.
• RESPECT themselves and others. What you give out, that’s what you get back. Respect will determine your social status as well. People need to engage in certain activities – profession, hobby, others – to gain recognition and to feel accepted and self-valued. However, to respect yourself, you have to THINK INDEPENDENTLY and not waiting for outside recognition to feel good about yourself. The acknowledgements of others should only be an additional trophy to your self-respect. This is crucial for developing self-esteem.
• Hold themselves worthy to be LOVEd and love others. Therefore they are WORTHY OF SUCCESS.
• Have INTEGRITY. They have reasonable principles to guide their lives and they act according to it.
• TRUST their own mental ability to rise above the crowd.
• Are GOAL-ORIENTED. They set clear goals and they are moving forward achieving them. To build high self-esteem you have to have crystal clear goals to know where you are now and where you are going.
• Know how to FOCUS. They are paying attention on their priorities and eliminating the destructive patterns from their life. Focus is indispensible for developing self-esteem.
• Know the enormous power of PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT, constant learning and using that knowledge to fulfill their potential.
• Have CONTROL over their life. They realize that they are the only ones who can MAKE DECISIONS and they do that quickly if it’s necessary.
• Have a sense of HUMOR. Every smile is a miracle which can create other miracles.
• Are CREATIVE and have healthy coping skills to handle concerns and problems. Developing self-esteem is a creative process.
• Are RESPONSIBLE for their actions. They don’t try to blame it on others; they are the first ones to be in charge and to take control over the situation according to their best knowledge.
• Are PERSISTENT. They are eager to accomplish their chosen goals and they have the energy, the motivation to move closer and closer even if they feel tired or lost. They never, ever give up.
This is the summary of the key “ingredients” of self-esteem. You can always add to it. You can rephrase the paragraphs. It doesn’t matter. The point is that you have to put the idea, the determination and the will of change into your mind and start going toward your goals.
“YOU MAKE ZERO PERCENT OF THE SHOTS YOU DON’T TAKE.”
So get out of the couch and start moving. Get the blood going you already feel better.Developing self-esteem is like making a soup. You have to have basic ingredients – water, vegetables, meat, pasta etc. - , but it is highly recommended to use your own style, imagination, heart to create the taste of a lifetime. You can always add a bit of a salt or pepper to it. Spice it up!
Therefore, be flexible and do not try to follow any system or help without thinking about it. Use your human judgment to set the direction of your life. Do what makes sense. I will provide you with as much information as you need to build self-esteem. Use your brain to choose the factors you feel comfortable with and do it. The reward of developing self-esteem – your overall well-being - will follow. And do not forget about one thing: