Back to Back Issues Page
Self Control
December 20, 2021

Christmas is not about self control isn't it?

This article is not really about controlling your hunger, rather taking control of your life in the future.

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.” - Robert F. Bennett

If you go through life without being in control, you are just a rat in a maze, a hamster in a wheel, blindly running after things you aren't even sure you really want. You're killing time, waiting for something to happen. Guess what. Unless you take control, nothing great will ever happen!

The problem with 'waiting for things to be perfect' is that they never will be. Everything will not fall magically into place; a lightning bolt will not strike beside you and serve as a wakeup call. You are unlikely to receive an epiphany one day that reveals the secret of the universe and sets you on the yellow brick road.

You have to get motivated, get going, and decide where you want to end up. Don't wait for that day when life just suddenly happens. Look around at what life is offering you right now, and begin to make choices that help inch you further down the path of your own creation.


Control doesn’t mean taking away choices - it means providing better ones.

There is so much more to life than running in circles. You deserve more! Best of all, you can make it all happen just by making the decision to take control of your life. All you have to do is look in the mirror and decide that right now, right this minute, things are going to change. Change your mindset, change your inner voice, and change your actions.

Start doing one thing you always said you should do, but were afraid others would see as stupid or silly. Do it for you, no-one else. If you hesitate, ask yourself a very important question:

What's holding me back?

I'll give you a hint. It's almost certainly fear.

The number one reason of all time that people can't change their lives is FEAR!


It's too scary to take control - it's easier to let circumstances and people around you run your life. That way you don't have to take any responsibility when something goes wrong.

Many people fear having dreams, following their dreams, or achieving their dreams. Don’t be one of them! Fear screams "Leaving comfort zone! Leaving comfort zone!" every time you start to push your boundaries, and stops you in your tracks. Mental red lights swirl and horns begin to shriek.

You end up backing away from the door marked "Freedom" and stay safely in your comfort zones rather than risk the possibility of failure. You may not even fully realize that you have this fear - but what you do know is that you are stuck.

It's time to get unstuck. Maybe you have a "dream job" or something you’ve always wanted to do but end up talking yourself out of it because you don't think you can do it or it seems too crazy or those around you discourage you.

"We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes." ~ John F. Kennedy

If you turn away from your passion, you'll never be satisfied. You'll see other people who have managed to work through the fear and kick yourself for not being brave enough to take control of your life and take that risk.

You have to face down the fear and figure out that you really are capable of achieving your dreams. Lots of things seem scary at first - a first kiss, a first drivers test, a first dive off the high board, a first job. You dread it and procrastinate - and then you make the leap and find out it is no big deal.

What a shame to waste time agonizing and worrying when you could have been living your dreams instead! Deciding to take control of your life can be scary, too, but once you do you'll be amazed at how much easier each decision is after that.

Stop waiting for life to happen.


If you sit around waiting on life to offer you something, you don't even have a guarantee that you'll recognize that 'something' if it rolls by.

Taking control of your life starts with deciding what you want. Once you do, you'll be past the first hurdle on your way to achieving your goals.

Make a list of the things you want to accomplish in your life, and pick one to concentrate on. Break it into small steps so you can build confidence with each one. Start small, but choose things that will change your life. Don't listen to people who tell you "you can't do that", or that "that's silly". Follow through for your own sake and show yourself you have what it takes.

Be positive

Once you step up to bat, keep your eye on the ball and follow through with your swing. You don't have to hit it out of the park all at once - a base hit will do for starters! Look at the big picture, and realize it may be several innings before you get that home run.

"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed." ~Booker T. Washington

Get in the flow

Find the things that you love doing so much that you lose track of time and space and just immerse yourself in. When you are at peace with yourself and what you are doing, you reach a place where your inside and your outside are in harmony.

You can't get there by doing nothing - you have to be fully involved and acting to be in the flow. Being in the flow will make an enormous difference in your life. You’ll be amazed at how much energy you have, how your inner voice is suddenly on your side, and how much joy you have and zest for life. You'll be having the best days of your life, enjoying every minute - all because you made the choice to "live" the life you create for yourself instead of "waiting" for the life you want to magically drop into your lap.

It all starts with one step


Your ability to take control will determine the next portion of your life. Will you keep running through the maze, or will you break down the walls and define your own desires for your life? Take control and watch your life start to flow!

“From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negative power over your life, or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.” ~ Anais Nin

One more thing. It's not all about taking action… some of the secrets of taking control is about reactions.

How you relate to people and situations in your life needs to be under your control. You must harness the emotions and things in your past that make you have knee jerk reactions, and conquer them, train yourself to react appropriately in all situations.

Control your reactions to everyday things at first. Even something as simple as slamming the front door shut when your kid leaves it open for the tenth time. Look at the door, ask yourself what purpose slamming it serves - then call your kid back to shut it properly herself.

Train yourself to act calmly and rationally instead of reacting emotionally and inconsistently. You can turn the negative into a positive by turning your involuntary reactions into conscious actions. All it takes is the decision to be more self aware, and to be in control of your own self.
I hope you find these articles useful on your journey. Please visit my site for further information at:

...and finally....

I wish you and your loved ones Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Have fun and enjoy life my friend. :)

Thank you for your feedback and generous support. I greatly appreciate it.

Should you have any question or would like to leave your feedback or comment, please do not hesitate to contact me through my contact page.

Life is awesome. Enjoy it my friend.

For additional information please visit my website

Thank you for listening.

Zoltan Roth

Back to Back Issues Page