Self talk is highly undervalued, because many people think that it is an unnatural process. The fact is, most of us are indulging in it all the time - we are usually just not conscious of it!
Talking to ourselves on a basic level is the thoughts that race through our subconscious, and all too often the words we hear are negative. We play right into the trap of judging everything in absolutes, and this can severely hinder our ability to lead full, rich lives.
Listen to yourself. Do you say you ‘always’ this or you will ‘never’ that? “I always mess things up.” “I will never be able to lose weight.” Sentences that start with “I can’t” or “I wish” are often negative and bring us down.
Try to become aware of your own conversation with yourself, and change the way you speak to yourself. You wouldn’t think it was right to tell a child they are always so clumsy, or that they will never amount to anything, so why should you treat yourself that way?
Start replacing your negative thoughts to promote a positive view of yourself. Replace “I am so stupid” with “I am learning more every day”. If you find yourself thinking you always are running behind, substitute the thought that you accomplish a lot, and that you will work on scheduling.
Self affirmation is that what people have the most trouble with. They may think it is silly, but the fact is that you are just being honest to yourself by realizing that you use it to communicate with yourself whether you admit it or not.
Self affirmation is the proactive way to DO something about your life, to change the talk that tears you down into something that builds you up! It doesn’t have to be a droning litany of how great you are, though that wouldn’t hurt.
All you have to do is think about yourself for a minute - focus on something about yourself that triggers negative thoughts or feelings, and deliberately reverse your self talk to focus on the positive!
“My nose is crooked” can become “I don’t have breathing problems” (a positive side to your nose), and “my eyes are a very attractive color of green” (another thing in the plus column for good measure!)
Once you learn to direct your talk into positive channels, it will become a good thing in your life, and you will have the chance to let go of some misconceptions about yourself!Self image