Self-esteem building takes effort and commitment. Each day, decide to do something toward improving your sense of self-worth and soon you will see improvement.
Here are some suggestions:
Practice positive self-talk. If you are in the habit of putting yourself down, building self-esteem begins by learning how to talk to yourself. Begin by making a list of all that you have accomplished so far in your life. Everything from graduating with honors or making the track team in high school to juggling work and family to being able to bake cookies from scratch belongs on your accomplishments list. Add to this list whenever you think of anything at all in your life you should be proud of. Refer to this list often when your confidence needs a boost and keep adding to it.
Negative self-talk is a habit that has to be broken. Don’t treat yourself like your worst enemy. You wouldn’t let anyone else talk to you that way – don’t let YOU talk to you that way.
Pay attention to your needs. Taking care of your own needs is one way of self-esteem building. Choosing healthy foods, exercising, allowing yourself adequate sleep and time to relax are all ways to show yourself that you are of value.
You may have needs that are more subtle, like the need to be alone for an hour or so. You may even have a vague sense that you are not getting what you need, but you don’t know why. Slow down and listen to yourself. Only you can figure out what is missing in your life. You deserve to have your needs met.
Take time to do things you enjoy. It’s important that life includes things that bring you a sense of inner peace and happiness, whether it’s listening to a certain kind of music, watching the sunset or taking a walk on the beach. Make time for special people in your life – call a friend, spend time alone with your spouse without the kids. Any form of giving yourself the time and attention that you need is a way of building self-esteem.
Spend some time doing things you don’t want to do. If you’ve been putting off cleaning out your garage or organizing drawers you have to realize that disorganization may be damaging your self-esteem. Think about what tasks you’ve avoided that will give you a lift if they are completed. Take one small step toward accomplishing these tasks.
Learn something new. Nothing leads to a renewed sense of self-esteem like the sense of accomplishment that comes from learning something new. Whether you’ve always wanted to learn a foreign language, how to play a musical instrument or how to cook a gourmet meal, find something new to learn.
Smile. (that's the best one) You’d be surprised how much this simple change will help in your self-esteem building. Make a decision to smile at every stranger and watch what happens. Not everyone will smile back, but every time someone does, you will feel an inner lift. Know that with each smile you initiate, you are brightening someone’s day. Doesn’t that make you feel good about yourself?
Practice random acts of kindness. Do you have a neighbor whose lawn needs to be mowed? Do it for him. Do you have an elderly relative that needs help with preparing meals or doing errands? Any small act you can do to help this person will be deeply appreciated. Random acts of kindness don’t have to be initiated only with people you know. If you see a single mom struggling with a ton of laundry, offer to carry some. If you see another driver trying to get out of a parking lot into traffic, what is the harm in letting her out?
"In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take."
The suggestions above are actions. They are proactive things you can do as you choose to work at your self-esteem building. But on a more sub-conscious level, you need to work to change your attitude. In a lot of ways, your attitude is the only thing you always have control over.
So much of what goes on inside is the result of your reactions to what happens to you. For example, if you are a college student and a professor says “That is the worst report I ever read”, you can react by crawling into a corner and saying to yourself, “My parents were right. I’m a loser who is never going to amount to anything.” Or, you can choose instead to keep things in perspective. You can say to yourself, “Well, I guess I didn’t impress that professor. He obviously didn’t like my choice of topic, or I didn’t succeed in persuading him to agree with my point of view. Next semester will be better.”
Ultimately, attitude is everything.
Here are some examples of changing your attitude in order to change your life.
• Recognize the difference between things you can change and things you can’t. If you are overweight, you can make a plan to work toward losing weight. If you are big boned and that makes you self-conscious, this is something you can’t do anything about. Instead you need to focus on accepting things as they are.
• Learn from your mistakes instead of dwelling on them. This is an example of how attitude is a choice. People with low self-esteem tend to dwell on their mistakes. Instead they need to realize that every mistake is a learning opportunity, nothing more, nothing less. Don’t get stuck in your mistakes.
• Give yourself credit for progress. The journey is the destination. You won’t attain perfection. Give yourself a pat on the back for every task you attempted and for every risk you took.
Self-esteem building is a lifelong process. You will have good days and bad days; you will slip back into old habits from time to time. The point is, you need to make a decision to work on your self-esteem and give yourself credit for the effort, and for every small accomplishment that moves you closer to your goal. And let me emphasize again.
"Let it hurt. Let it heal. And let it go."
Developing self-esteem can be overwhelming for many of us. I know that, because I have experienced that throughout my life. I was born in Hungary, Europe during the communism and now I am living in the United States. Quite different, I guess. I had to learn English, accommodate to the different environment, people and culture. I had to trust myself,, I had to have self confidence and a healthy level of self-esteem to survive. It was not easy.
Any change you make in your life means that you have to move out of your “comfort zone”. Sometimes you have to step on unexplored terrains to reach your goals, which could be challenging.
You will find some tips for developing self-esteem in the following paragraphs and some ideas about how people can boost their self confidence.
Please, remember one thing. I do not propagate perfection here. Perfection - in my opinion - does not exist. There is always a way to be better, stronger, to develop yourself and to learn constantly. What I support here is excellence. The quality of life, the quality of whatever you do every day and the willingness to alter your thinking to improve your life and the ones who you are interacting with.
There is no way that you can change everything at once. But, with systematic, focused effort you can start this incredible journey of moving toward your goals right at this moment. We have all felt that we did not have control over certain situations in our life (especially over nature, the weather etc.) or we were not optimistic or successful in every decisions we have made, but our approach, our feelings toward the act or event that’s what really matters.
- Read books. Put a book in your car. You might have to wait at the doctor’s office, car dealerships or at any other appointment you have made. I remember when I had to wait for 90 minutes at the car dealership couple days ago when I had my CD player changed in my car. I was a little tense at the end, but not because I had to wait for that long - even if I had an appointment -, but because I could not finish reading my book. I almost told the guy: - Hey , Dude next time I hope it will take at least 2-3 hours so I can finish my last 20-30 pages. I did not even notice how fast time went by because I was so busy reading. I think it is a much better way to deal with the situation than start arguing with them.
-Listen to mp3s or CDs in your car. I don’t know exactly how much time average Americans spend in their car yearly, but I am sure at least 3-400 hours or more. What a useful time to listen to tapes or CDs! You can listen to tapes about personal growths, developing self-esteem, raising your self confidence. There are books on tapes as well. You can get them for FREE from the Libraries. You can listen to classics, biographies and all kinds of different subjects you are interested in. Being a member of the Library? …. Yes, it’s free too. Use this free tool as often as possible.
Developing self-esteem is hard work. But you can make it a fun adventure by utilizing the resources that are available for you. Let’s see how you can recognize when you have healthy self-esteem. Think about what area(s) in your life need some attention.
People who have high self-esteem:
• ENJOY LIFE. If you understand and practice this, you don’t even have to read any further. Just keep it doing. This is the most important part of our well-being. This is the factor what people are willing to forget about. Very simple yet very powerful. So be it. Live your life.
• JUST DO IT. They are always in action. They do it whether they like it or not, because they know that action takes you to the next level. Whenever you accomplish something that gives you the feeling of satisfaction that is what raises the level of your self-esteem.
• Have OPTIMISM, which gives the fuel to the engine to start working. Positive thinking is one of the most important factors for developing self-esteem, to begin to change your life for goods.
• RESPECT themselves and others. What you give out, that’s what you get back. Respect will determine your social status as well. People need to engage in certain activities – profession, hobby, others – to gain recognition and to feel accepted and self-valued. However, to respect yourself, you have to Think independently and not waiting for outside recognition to feel good about yourself. The acknowledgements of others should only be an additional trophy to your self-respect and help with your self-esteem building. This is crucial for developing self-esteem.
• Hold themselves worthy to be LOVEd and love others. Therefore they are WORTHY OF SUCCESS.
• Have INTEGRITY. They have reasonable principles to guide their lives and they act according to it.
• TRUST their own mental ability to rise above the crowd.
• Are GOAL-ORIENTED. They set clear goals and they are moving forward achieving them. To build high self-esteem you have to have crystal clear goals to know where you are now and where you are going.
• Know how to FOCUS. They are paying attention on their priorities and eliminating the destructive patterns from their life. Focus is indispensible for developing self-esteem.
• Know the enormous power of PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT, constant learning and using that knowledge to fulfill their potential.
• Have CONTROL over their life. They realize that they are the only ones who can MAKE DECISIONS and they do that quickly if it’s necessary.
• Have a sense of HUMOR. Every smile is a miracle which can create other miracles.
• Are CREATIVE and have healthy coping skills to handle concerns and problems. Developing self-esteem is a creative process.
• Are RESPONSIBLE for their actions. They don’t try to blame it on others; they are the first ones to be in charge and to take control over the situation according to their best knowledge.
• Are PERSISTENT. They are eager to accomplish their chosen goals and they have the energy, the motivation to move closer and closer even if they feel tired or lost. They never, ever give up.
This is the summary of the key “ingredients” of self-esteem. You can always add to it. You can rephrase the paragraphs. It doesn’t matter. The point is that you have to put the idea, the determination and the will of change into your mind and start going toward your goals. The progress of self-esteem building is always starts with you, your thinking and willingness to do the necessary steps.
“YOU MAKE ZERO PERCENT OF THE SHOTS YOU DON’T TAKE.”
So get out of the couch and start moving. Get the blood going you already feel better. Developing self-esteem is like making a soup. You have to have basic ingredients – water, vegetables, meat, pasta etc. - , but it is highly recommended to use your own style, imagination, heart to create the taste of a lifetime. You can always add a bit of a salt or pepper to it. Spice it up!
Therefore, be flexible and do not try to follow any system or help without thinking about it. Use your human judgment to set the direction of your life. Do what makes sense. I will provide you with as much information as you need for self-esteem building. Use your brain to choose the factors you feel comfortable with and do it. The reward of building self-esteem – your overall well-being - will follow. And do not forget about one thing:
“NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP”
"Keep people in your life that truly love you, motivate you, encourage you, inspire you, enhance you and make you happy. If you have people who do none of the above, let them go."
Use the following self-esteem building strategies, ideas or methods to enjoy life to the fullest and to learn and grow by thinking about them. It's supposed to be fun. The best case scenario is when you do what you love to do.
1. Smile. He-he-he. It's not that hard is it?
2. Sing. Be aware of the neighbors.
3. Dance. No, not me, but you can do that.
4. Compliment someone.
5. Take time to do things you enjoy.
6. Learn something new.
7. Have a sense of humor. There is a joke in every little corner. Go pick it up!
8. Plant a flower. Nurture it and grow with it.
9. Do silly things. Do it one more time!
10. Be creative. Write, draw or paint something.
11. Respect every living creature.
12. Think of somebody who you love. No, it's not me this time. Please think of somebody else.
13. Think about how lucky number this is.
14. Read books. Send me a short e-mail about your favorite one and the reason why it is the one.
15. Listen to classical music.
16. Talk to a butterfly or any other beautiful creature outside.
17. Exercise. Lifting up a beer can does not count.
18. Give compliments to those around you.
19. What makes you unique?..........
20. What is your strongest quality?
Would you like to help others by sharing your personal story or self-esteem building idea? Please don't hesitate to do that. Someone might use your valuable information, advice or technique to change the direction of her/his life.
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Share the gratitude/ Steve Ebert
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Check out my website www.luvreading.com. Your ideas are my ideas as well. Here's to positive influences in the lives of--well, everyone.
22. Play chess outside in the rain.
23. Texas hold'em?
24. Think positive.
25. What is the #1 thing that you are the most enthusiastic about?
26. Clean your bathroom. Tons of fun.
27. Remodel your room.
28. Take a vacation. No, not to the nearest pub. Something more exotic.
29. List five strengths you have.
30. Play board games. Checkers, scrabble, backgammon, origami, monopoly, brainteasers, family games.
31. Say "HI" to the SUN.
32. Be spontaneous.
33. Visualize success. You can just look at my picture on my "ABOUT ME" page.
35. Replace negative self-talk with a positive one.
36. Set goals.
37. Keep track of your progress.
38. Look for positive and supportive people.
39. Think of at least 20 things you know how to do.
40. The 5 greatest achievement in your life.
41. Take a risk.
42. Watch the movie "HURRICANE" with Denzel Washington. You don't necessarily have to invite him. He'll be there anyway.
44. Surf online, but not for too long. After you have found my site do not go anywhere else.
45. Make mistakes. They are good for you.
46. Keep a journal.
47. Learn a foreign language. Hungarian for example. I can help. After 50-75 years you will be familiar with the basics.
48. Visit a local bookstore. Breath in the knowledge, wisdom and leave.
49. Write a poem.
50. Be a genius. Read about them first.
51. Buy a piece of cheesecake and don't eat it. Practice self control.
52. Talk to someone under age 6. Tons of fun.
53. Talk to someone over age 70. Tons of wisdom.
55. Brainstorm ideas about anything you want to achieve in your life.
56. Understand that your failure is an opportunity to learn.
57. You can handle everything.
58. Share the love.
59. You have the right to say YES. You have the right to say NO.
60. Use self affirmations.
61. Light a candle and be silent.
62. Watch your posture.
63. Think about this: "Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." ( Winston Churchill )
64. Have or give massage. The healing power of a personal touch.
65. Do yoga.
66. Just do it!
67. Cook something.
68. Take a hike.
69. Create a collage.
70. Play hide and seek.
71. Kevin Welch said once: "There'll be two dates on your tombstone/ And all your friends will read 'em/ But all that's gonna matter is that little dash between 'em..." Please use that little dash for building self-esteem.
72. Pick one thing you like about your appearance.
73. Read about Mahatma Gandhi.
74. Say something nice to someone with no reason.
75. Buy a flower.
76. Walk backwards.
77. Become a better listener.
78. Take a deep breath.
79. Notice what you do right on a daily basis.
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81. List 10 things you can do to make someone else laugh.
82. Think of 10 things you can do for yourself that don’t consist of buying something.
83. Do the same with your loved ones.
84. Spend an hour with yourself every day.
85. Get organized and please note that I am still working on it.
86. Put something here on your own. Perhaps about self-esteem building. What do you think?
87. Make decisions.
88. Write down what's in your mind at this very moment. Don't think about it, just write it down.
89. Which is almost 90. Think about how much fun you had during the last 90 days and repeat it.
90. Look at your child. Any of them.
91. Play with water.
92. Reward your success.
95. Be persistent.
96. Be aware that trial and error are part of life.
97. What is your #1 major goal in your life?
98. Pick a hobby.
99. Stretch your capabilities.
100. Ok. That's enough. No, just one more. Get up 20 minutes earlier tomorrow morning and read this list again.
What I wanted to show you here is that you don't need money or high intellect to have fun or to understand any self-esteem building exercise.
The tiny, little things in your every day life will create the joy and happiness you have been looking for.
Self-esteem building is about appreciating life, respecting each other and being and feeling confident in your every day activities.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is your opinion about yourself.To find out more click on this link
Tips and techniques for high self-esteem building
The reason I use the word healthy high self-esteem is that describes the person the most with integrity, responsibility and respect. Find methods of building self-esteem.
These inspirational words and thoughts can help you to find joy and happiness in life.
Positive affirmations can “re-wire” your brain and give you a feeling of happiness, the power that can help you dealing with the challenges you face.
And don"t forget about one important thing:
Please sign up for my free monthly newsletter to get even more ideas for your self-esteem building.