Funny inspirational quotes

A little laugh can’t hurt. These funny inspirational quotes have been created to take you a place or a state of mind where fun and humor are the only acceptable way of life. Enjoy this “positive insanity” by famous authors. Life is awesome; it has always been and it will always be. Enjoy your life my friend.

Funny inspirational quotes by Groucho Marx;

• Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

• How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.

• She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

• Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

• The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

• Are you going to believe me, or what you see with your own eyes?

• If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

Other funny quotes;

• The shortest distance between two points is under construction. (Noelie Alito)

• We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing. (George Bernard Shaw)

• If you don't know how to die, don't worry; Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you; don't bother your head about it. (Montaigne)

• I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true. (Katherine Hepburn)

• If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. (Dick Cavett)

• I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. ( Emo Philips)

• The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits. (Albert Einstein)

• Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese. (Billie Burke)

• If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else. (Yogi Berra)

• Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. (Lily Tomlin)

• My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it. (Buddy Hackett)

• I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. (A.A.Attanasio)

• The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. (Robert Frost)

• The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. (Vidal Sassoon)

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