Funny inspirational quotes

Enjoy life with these funny inspirational quotes

A little laugh can’t hurt. These funny inspirational quotes have been created to take you a place or a state of mind where fun and humor are the only acceptable way of life. Enjoy this “positive insanity” by famous authors. Life is awesome; it has always been and it will always be. Enjoy your life my friend.

funny inspirational quotes

You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks. – Winston Churchill

Funny inspirational quotes by Groucho Marx

• Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

• I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

• How do you feel about women’s rights? I like either side of them.

• She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.

• Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

• The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

• Are you going to believe me, or what you see with your own eyes?

• If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

Other funny quotes

• The shortest distance between two points is under construction. (Noelie Alito)

• We don’t stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing. (George Bernard Shaw)

• If you don’t know how to die, don’t worry; Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you; don’t bother your head about it. (Montaigne)

• I don’t care what is written about me as long as it isn’t true. (Katherine Hepburn)

• If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either. (Dick Cavett)

• I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. ( Emo Philips)

• The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits. (Albert Einstein)

• Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese. (Billie Burke)

• If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else. (Yogi Berra)

• Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. (Lily Tomlin)

• My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it. (Buddy Hackett)

• I see your face when I am dreaming. That’s why I always wake up screaming. (A.A.Attanasio)

• The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. (Robert Frost)

• The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. (Vidal Sassoon)

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