Overcoming insecurity and building self confidence means changing how we feel emotionally about ourselves. First, we must alter our belief that we are 'not good enough', and second, we must change our self image. Insecurity often stems from our perception of how we look, how intelligent or wealthy we are, or even how desirable we are.
We see people on TV with perfect bodies and perfect lives and measure ourselves against them, always coming up short. This is unhealthy, and results in a feeling of unworthiness. You can't decide that because you don't have a runway model's body you are imperfect or unlovable, or because you aren't a world famous chef or race car driver that you are somehow second rate.
If your mental picture of perfection makes you feel bad, you need to look harder at what you think 'perfect' is. Feelings of "not being good enough" shouldn't haunt your every step! If you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to some impossible, unreal 'perfect' ideal, you need to stop - right now - and readjust your mindset!
In order to be confident and start overcoming insecurity, you need to dissolve your current idea of perfection and replace it with a realistic one. Setting goals is an excellent way to build self confidence, but if you are still falling short of your mental ideal, you will never be happy. The first step towards emotional maturity is accepting yourself the way you are. You can always want to do better, but you must not make your love and acceptance of yourself hinge on how you look or what you drive or how much money you make in a year. If you can believe that you are good enough and change the self image you have of yourself from 'not measuring up' to 'just right', you will be able to grow.
If you believe you are lacking, you will feel sad. If you believe that you are a complete person just the way you are, you will feel happy! We are programmed to feel unhappy when we don't have something we think we need, and happy when we get it. Since no-one can have perfection, the best way to be happy is to change our want - instead of wanting to be perfect, want to be who you are. See how simple it is? No-one is perfect, so you don't have to measure up. Throw away that measuring stick and stand tall.
See yourself as happy and complete and it will translate into feeling secure about yourself. Make your goals about achievement instead of 'being perfect'. Remind yourself with self talk and mantras that you are worthy of love, worthy of respect , and give yourself those things.
Once you understand that you have nothing to feel insecure about, you can get rid of those 'perfect' images of how you 'ought to be' and start rejoicing in who you are. You can build a better self image by becoming aware of thoughts and feelings that make you feel unworthy, and combating them with verbal and mental assurances.
When you find yourself unhappy because you are comparing yourself to an impossible ideal, banish the unworthy feelings and overcome insecurity with a firm reminder that the path to perfection is just being yourself!
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