Low self-esteem dating is not likely to lead to happily ever after. If you are dating while suffering from
one of two things is likely to happen. You will have difficulty attracting a partner, not because of being flawed, but because you are projecting neediness and insecurity. Or you may attract a partner who is less than ideal.
Low self-esteem dating is a way to fill a void. In fact, the lower your self-esteem, the more compelled you are to try to fill that sense of emptiness. You may search desperately for a partner to reassure you that you are ok. You tolerate unacceptable behavior just to avoid being alone. The desperation you are feeling shows, and you end up chasing away people you would very much like to attract. If you do develop a relationship with someone, insecurity may lead to suspiciousness and accusations. Few relationships can survive the kind of neediness that comes out of low self-esteem.
If blatant neediness and desperation doesn’t scare your dates away, without a healthy sense of self-respect, you are likely to attract someone who doesn’t have a lot to offer. You may settle for a partner who is less than you hoped for. You may end up being treated abusively physically, mentally or both, because deep down you don’t believe you deserve better.
You’re likely to feel especially vulnerable after divorce or any relationship that ended in disappointment. Rejection is very damaging to your self-esteem, and may give you the urge to prove to yourself and others that you are still loveable. You rush in headfirst at the first sign of opportunity, only to be disappointed again. The more disappointment you experience, the more you come to expect to be disappointed. It’s a vicious cycle.
A person with
is likely to view dating in a very different way. From a place of strength, a potential partner is something you may want in your life – but not something you need. You take your time and choose wisely.
If you have low self-esteem dating is something you are probably not ready for. It is never in your best interest to look for fulfillment outside yourself.
Begin working on your self-respect and
improving your self-esteem.
Look for your good qualities and build on them.
As your self-esteem begins to improve,
start going on some dates, but take it slow. Going on one or two dates with someone doesn’t mean you have to rush into a relationship. Each person you date is not going to be the last potential partner you ever come across.
When you can honestly say you love and respect yourself, you will be in a much better position to find an appropriate partner and to recognize when someone doesn’t really have much to offer. You’ll be able to take your time and keep things in perspective. You won’t rush into something you’ll regret. A healthy relationship can only come out of two people who each have a healthy sense of self-worth.